it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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