Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My dick has a subreddit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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