thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
