I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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