Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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