He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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