1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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