I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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