i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
