Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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