dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The struggles of a small town man whore
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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