it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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