I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
