hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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