guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
