After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just pee around me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.