But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
