There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We need a shit load of segways right now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
