Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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