found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
