I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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