I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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