I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
