God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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