Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?