so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.