Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize