he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.