haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
