it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old