My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
