dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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