let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
