Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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