The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
