My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
