all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
