That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
