Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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