Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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