I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
