dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
