I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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