I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
