did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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