And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
