If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
