I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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