I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
