Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
