I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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