Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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