my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
