I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
