saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize