I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
