Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize