nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
