never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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