Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
